Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘the old Pathet Lao post’

Hakphaang,

Walking by Talat Souat

Passing the post office

My eyes caught sight of a building

Once housed a Pathet Lao rep

At the very heart of the old regime

I remember

Back in the early 70s

A Pathet Lao guard

Wearing baggy uniform

With the flappable hat posted at the gate

What a novelty sight in Vientiane indeed

I for one

Fascinated by the sight

Came to look at the Pathet Lao soldier

A symbol of Lao defiance

Thought to be from a long line of Chao Anou’s warriors

Like any Lao patriots

I sympathized with the Pathet Lao’s cause

Daring to fight the giants

Not only for themselves

But for all of us as well

Don’t know

When this belief

This trust

This faith

Gone from my heart

Or was I just so naďve

So innocent

So credulous

That I didn’t see through

All their lies

All their deception

Throughout all those years?

Or the Pathet Lao themselves

Forgotten their own root

Their own ideal

And became instead what they came out

To fight against in the first place?

A lackey of others

Injustice

And lack of vision

Big enough to include all Lao

Like an opportunity long sought for

But once it arrives

Got smashed out of any recognition

Nothing left for people like me

But a tormented heart

Leaving my very own country

When will it be another opportunity?

I don’t know

What I know is

When I close my eyes for the very last time

I will bury the image of the baggy uniform with me

And let all my frustrated hopes

And shattered dreams

Disintegrate with me

For no future Lao will see that again

9.30.03