Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘My love my life’

Hakphaang,

With an awkward smile in your lip

Not knowing that’s the right thing to do

You look at me

Like a girl on a first date

Should I say?

You look beautiful

With a minimum make-up

My dear

Don’t you ever think

I will be so sophisticated

To see you for less than you really are

Far away

May I come from

Seeing many beautiful things

But none captures my heart

Than the way you do

Tens of years have gone by

The murky Mekong has

Time after time

Leapt up across the shore

Kissing at your feet

Before receding

To wherever it came from

And so do I

Like our first date

Long before I was even born

You held my hand

Steadied my baby walk

How could I ever pay you back?

This very life I have

And those many lives to come

Are all but for you

Please my love

Take my hand

Tired as it may be

It adores you

When danger comes

It will turn into a fist

Stronger than the steel

Look deep into my eyes

Moist as they may be

Never again will I leave you

Like a first date

Forever cherished in memories

We meet again

With an awkward smile on your face

I kiss your lip

Wiping away all your concerns

For my heart will be always with you

9.24.03

Sabaydii,

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘the land of temples’

Hakphaang,

It was said

Vientiane was lining up with temples

Too numerous to count

Any where you go

Any corner you step into

Temple is waiting for you

Samsenthai road

Is the epitome

Of Lao absorption into Buddhism

In a distance of less than one mile

Lied 9 temples

At one time or another

Side by side

And front to front

From the north end is Wat Inpeng

And Wat OngTu

Where you could still see

A carved wood made of 3-head elephant

On the temple door

And the south end is Wat Simuang

Where people believed

The most sacred temple

In Vientiane and all of Muang Lao herself

Undoubtedly

The inside of this temple

Was almost gold

With the money pouring in

From everywhere

Even from the neighboring Thailand

Was told

This temple is the site of Lak Muang

Where a pregnant woman

Threw herself onto

And became a city guardian spirit

With a bouquet of lotus flowers

Bought from a Lao Isan

I laid it down at the Lak Muang Lao

Knelt down and prayed

If only I could be granted one wish

I won’t wish for my own riches

But the riches of my country

And in its riches

May it be at the hands of all Lao

Lao Isan and LaoNork included

Phieng!

9.11.03

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘Searching for my own self’

Hakphaang,

Only the first few days in Vientiane

I already felt tired

Tired of what I had seen

And tied of what I would see

The same old things

I thought

Muang Lao was beyond those

With a tired heart

I took refuge at Wat Phakeo

The very one

Princess Khieokhom – Chao Anou’s sister

Hid herself from the invading Siamese

Like any other days

Tourists thronged the place

Once housed the emerald Buddha

Phakeo now in Bangkok

Inside

Thai tourists flaunted their Thai currency

Before dropping it into the donation box

Some even handed it to the temple keeper

Drawing his big smile and profuse thanks

The Thai the very ones

Causing so much destruction in this land

In this sacred temple

Were wholeheartedly welcome

Even more than our own people

Now living abroad

My heart couldn’t help to ask why

It was that eerie

With just a few drops of crumbs

And a parade of Thai royalty

Our KhuamPenLao is no more

If that so

Why didn’t we sell this land

And become our much beloved – the Thai?

Why fought and lost our ancestors’ lives?

For nothing?

Would Princess Khieokhom take refuge in this temple

If this sacred ground was to be violated

By the very ones who stabbed and bled our hearts?

Oh Quon Lao

Less than 500 years ago

We were but a power in this part of the world

The Siamese dared not touch us

The Vietnamese were but a weakling

Just when we became

What we were

Only heaven knows

As painful as it could be

I glared at the Thai tourists

Of what they represented

And of what we became

Like my own sad story

Unveiled before my very eyes

I stood there motionless

Is there a refuge left for me in this world?

Or the Thai are going to do to us

As they did at the time of Princess Khieokhom

Only destiny knows!

8.28.03

Here is the continuation of a series ‘Coming home’ entitled ‘Finding my own self’

Hakphaang,

At Wat Sisaket

Across the street from Wat Phakeo

I glanced back

At Chao Saysettha’s temple

Even from a distance

The tall pillars

Supporting Wat Phaokeo’s three tiered roof

Were strikingly imposing

Adding to the sliding magnificent roof

With the Xopha and perching nagas

Protecting the grand LanXang temple

I came to see

What it meant to be Lao

At the height of this golden era

Admittedly

I was broiling with anger

When I was told

The Thai were going to renovate the place

Adding their glittering color

To our brownish grey

Wiping away our distinctively Lao style

May the like of Chao Souvanna Phouma

Who restored Wat Phakeo to its present form

Helped keep the Thai dirty hands

From soiling what is ours and ours alone

Let them smear other temples

With their glittering wealth

But never over our sacred Wat Phakeo

Let this be Lao forever

Now at Chao Anou’s temple

What a strange feeling

Being here

I for the first time

Felt like

I was at the presence of something

Greater than myself

Something of my bigger soul

At every step I took

I felt like

Something powerful was watching me

With great intensity

As if to say

Was I Lao enough

Or just a pretender

Ready to crumble

At the sight of danger?

When I looked at the Buddha statues

With some of their heads broken

I felt like I was thrust

Into an existence question

Was I satisfied

Leaving this land for a greener pasture?

As if I were but an ungrateful

Painful I was

To walk in this temple

Knowing full well

This was the last bastion of Lao defiance

8.28.03